Picky Eater
by Pandasushiroll
Summary: Dick invites Wally over for dinner, at first Wally is excited, but then he sees the food. Written for lulz, purely humor. Can be taken as romance if you wish but it's mostly friendship. Drabble. Dick Grayson/Wally West bro moment.


Picky Eater

Wally blanched at the plate in front of him.

"Uh…Rob?"

"Hm?" Dick peered up from above thin sun glasses, his perfect brow arched in question.

"What is _that?_" Wally pointed at the plate as if it were some strange disfigured predator. He was able to restrain himself for about two seconds before plucking a fork from the array of choices, and began prodding skeptically at the foreign substance sitting precariously before him. 'It looks like alien vomit' He thought accusingly, exaggerating another gag before deciding that if this really was alien vomit he was going to go ahead and be extremely offended.

Muscle shells poked out from under a row of what Wally presumed (prayed really) were noodles, engulfed by a great greenish brown sauce topped with mushrooms and sprinkled decoratively with various reds and oranges. It oozed gourmet cuisine, and quite frankly, Wally was disgusted.

"I don't remember what it's called, but it's really good. Don't worry, just try some, man." Dick tried to coax a piece of the freaky dripping mess of vegetable sea food toward him, but Wally shook his head with a vigorous "No thank you". (He would rather not spend the evening heaving up the Wayne manor's weirdo specialty food.)

When the speedster didn't accept his offer, the boy wonder popped one of the thickly covered mushrooms into his mouth. 'Waste not want not,' He thought carelessly, happy to indulge in one of his favorite dishes. Dick seemed to enjoy the meal, but Wally only interpreted his explanation as "I have no idea what's in this but, it should be edible, why don't you try it anyway?" Which created a fear Wally couldn't fully explain.

He was fairly certain that whatever this steaming pile of…food (it felt so wrong to call it that) was, he wanted no part of it. He couldn't keep the blatant fear and stubbornness out of his voice as he nudged the dish a safe distance away. "I think I'll pass."

Dick cackled from behind his fork. "It's not poisonous, dude."

"I feel like there's something eyeing me in that stack. It's freaking me out, man! The food is _eyeing _me!" Wally tried to say this in all serious, but the sight of him frantically flailing his arms as if he were fending off some attacker made Dick want to keel over in laughter. It was almost too much for the acrobat in fact, as he was unable to keep the chuckles from seeping through his lips like stray sauce, but the boy wonder soon regained himself and continued picking his way through the savory plate.

Wally shuddered, happily reaching for his glass of water, content with handling something he recognized in this crazy messed up world of fancy dinners. "Who the hell makes this stuff anyway?"

Currently in the process of gnawing on some clam-muscle-squid-hybrid meat, Dick made the split decision to forego table manners and talk around his food. What happened next could only be described as attractive. The way Dick's food bunched up in the boy's mouth to provide a really beautiful image of one self proclaimed boy genius looking like a three year old with no table manners; was priceless. Wally made sure to mention this to Dick, just for the sporting good of it.

"Alphhad."

"Hot dude. Super hot." The boy wonder shook his head in disapproval, but Wally continued anyway, "Jeeves? What the hell does he specialize in? Delicacies of great sacrificial dinners puked up by aliens?" Dick cringed this time, and Wally apologized. "Sorry. At the very least, I hope the crazy place he got this from is shut down for murdering baby aliens." He was fairly certain this earned him an eye roll, but it was hard to tell with those wretched glasses reducing Dick's expression to an occasional frown or smile or eyebrow movement.

Once he swallowed the entirety of the mystery meat, Dick spoke up again, "I'll have to let Alfred know we have another picky eater on our hands."

The speedster perked up at the new information, and Dick elaborated without any prompting necessary.

"Bruce," Dick sipped his tea with an air of superiority for dramatic effect.

Wally grinned. "Bats doesn't like the fancy _gourmet_ alien mystery meat either?"

He wiggled his eyebrows in amusement and waved his hands to emphasize the _fanciness_.

Dick shook his head, stifling a laugh. "Nope, pickiest guy on the planet."

"What's he eat then?"

"A cheese fondue in noodles sprinkled with basil and a bread with a garlic spread."

"_Huh_?"

"It's a fancy way of saying Mac n' Cheese with some green stuff for decoration and garlic bread."

"Heh, what a little kid."

'_Like you can talk, _' The boy wonder could only chuckle once more this simple fact, as his friend began rattling off some tale about some food he ate some time ago. '_You're the biggest kid I know.'_


End file.
